Hi loves, how are you doing? I took a break from the blog the last couple of months to organize the future posts. I was planning to come back with a fashion post but I’ve decided to do one that many adults can relate to! The struggle of making friends in a foreign country (or even your country)! What sparked this post was my meeting with Jill, a fellow fashion enthusiast, that I met through Instagram! She is the third person I met through social media that wasn’t Greek. Jill and I had a lovely time, we shot content for hours, had lunch and enjoyed the sunshine. It felt so natural bonding with another person through something you both love that much!
I moved to the Netherlands around 6 years ago with my boyfriend Alex and the beginning was very difficult. I used to be a very social person with lots of friends in Greece and suddenly I was the majority of the day alone in the house trying to find a job. Being alone all day and crying my eyes out wondering why I moved made me overwhelmed.
As an adult in an foreign country you are most likely making friends at work/university. If you live in a big city you might also connect with your fellow countrymen. There is a Greek community in Amsterdam and other big cities but in the beginning we didn’t live close by. And when I finally found a job, I was working alone in a beauty studio in Amsterdam so no colleagues. This affected me a lot psychologically and all of a sudden my boyfriend became my only friend. A year later my brother moved to the Netherlands and although having him here is great at the same time it didn’t push me to make more friends.
It took a pandemic and 2 full years in the house with the same people to realize that I can’t or want to live my life like this! I need girlfriends in the Netherlands! What I did was to connect with other bloggers/instagrammers in the Netherlands and ask them to meet for a coffee. It takes a lot of strength and courage to go out of your comfort zone, I know, but it’s definitely worth it!
If you are ready though to have more friends here are some tips I have for you! I’m no expert by any means but I learned a thing or two from my personal experience or other expats that I spoke with throughout these years. As I said earlier I’m a very social person and quite extrovert so it was a bit easier to put myself out there. These tips are both for extroverts and introverts! One thing that might make this whole situation a bit easier is to remember that you are not alone! There are so many expats that are in the same situation and are looking for friends.
At the university
The best time to make friends at the university is during the introduction/orientation week. Everyone is new and without friends so you are all wishing for the same thing! I still remember feeling weird and a bit afraid the first day at the university. Everything is new and unknown and you have just said goodbye to your family and friends, so whatever you are feeling is ok! But this is the perfect opportunity to make friends! At my university in Greece we didn’t have a proper introduction week. The first day I went in class I was late and there was only one seat available. I just sat down next to Anna, said hello, introduced myself and after talking for a bit everything started to feel less terrifying! Little did I know I was sitting next to my future best friend!
Friends through hobbies
Another good way is through hobbies! Whether it’s sports, drawing, zumba classes or anything else you like as long as you go continuously. It might feel awkward in the beginning but the more you see these people the easier it will get to start a conversation. If you find it hard to start a conversation you can pay them a compliment, about their outfits for example! Small things like a compliment are a great ice breaker, they lift the other person’s mood and can lead to a conversation! After a while you can also exchange social media or phone numbers and bond even more!
Work colleagues
Well, I still work alone so I’m probably the least qualified person to answer that question, haha! Working with the same people everyday though makes it easy to find a topic and start a conversation. Sure you are not gonna be friends with everybody and I bet you don’t want that also! With time you’ll find out who are the colleagues you can be yourself with and have fun outside work and who are the ones you will have only a professional relationship with!
Working alone? I feel you!
But what if you work alone like me? I have to admit that making friends when you have no colleagues is no joke! Depending on your job it might be even more difficult than mine. I’m a beautician and I come in contact with people daily. But how can you decide who will you be friends with? I have to say give it time!
It’s tricky to be friends with clients but there are some people you can’t help but love! I don’t know how to describe it but I’m sure at least once in your life you met someone and instantly connected with. Or you felt like you know them your whole life and the conversation was easy and natural and you can talk for hours! Well my friend, these are the people you want to be friends with! Make plans on the spot and don’t just say let’s go for a coffee! We both know very well that life gets in the way and you never actually plan it!
What I love the most as a beautician in the Netherlands is that I have clients from all around the world. I always find it fascinating to learn more about other countries and cultures! The only downside of having other expat friends is that you never know if you or them will move to another country soon. I will be forever grateful though for some of the friendships I created through my job, hi Amanda darling, I miss you a lot! But you can always stay in touch with people even if they live hundreds of miles away!
Online friends all over the world
And that leads us to social media! We live in the world of social media and I don’t see it changing any time soon so it’s time to adjust if you have not already! Yes meeting people the traditional way is still fun but social media can connect you with people around the world and who doesn’t want that!
Talking to people through social media I think is a bit less daunting than in person especially if you are an introvert. In the beginning I felt shy to send to anyone to meet but after a long thought I said to myself why not! What’s the worst thing that can happen? Not get a reply?! I can live with that! But what if that message turns to another friendship? So I’ve decided to fight my doubts and send a message to Emily to meet! She is such a darling and although we didn’t have as much time as with Jill it still felt natural and easy to connect and had an amazing time!
The third non Greek person I met through Instagram is Stefania. She send me a message to meet and we met in Amsterdam. We had a lovely time, bonding over tea and apple pie! It feels so good meeting with people that have the same interests as you! As much as I love my boyfriend and my brother we are from different worlds, haha! I enjoy going out, dancing and be with other people. They enjoy playing games on their computers and that’s fine!
These 3 girls helped me open up and actively try to make friends! I honestly can’t wait to meet them again and have a good time! When it comes to connecting with people through social media my advise is to find people that have similar interests with you! You will immediately find something to bond over and it will make the whole experience very pleasant.
How can you start a conversation you ask? I think the easiest way is to reply to a story they made. I’ve talked with many people on Instagram about food, haha! Yes, ok also about clothes but food is something almost everyone enjoys! If you are very very shy and you can’t send a message you can react to the stories with emojis. It’s a way to make yourself known to the other person and maybe they can say something and start a conversation! Another way is to comment on their photos and I don’t mean “wow you look stunning!” As flattering as this comment might be it can’t start a real conversation!
The only problem with social media is that it’s hard to trust people who never met! You can never be 100% sure if they are indeed the ones they are saying they are or some creep trying to trick you! As a girl I learned to be extra careful when it comes to meeting strangers. Young adults tend to trust people quicker and they can’t spot the red flags that easily. So how can you feel safe to meet someone? To make my mum proud, here is my tips for safe meeting!
- Follow them for a while before you agree to meeting them.
- Talk to them as much as possible, without being a creep of course! Get to know them better. Start a small talk. Like where are they from or how they ended up in the country if they are expats.
- Check theirs stories as in there they can’t pretend they are someone else. It’s easy to have a fake profile and pretend you are someone else on the feed. But when you see their faces on video in stories it definitely feels safer.
- Meet in a public place to be safe in case something is wrong.
The Parent trap
I’m also not a parent but I had a lot of conversations about this topic with parents. From what I got it’s that being a parent is probably the easiest way to make friends other than the university! Having a kid forces you in a way to make friends! You can plan playdates and meet the parents of the other kids, or start conversations at birthday parties. Or maybe you connect through similar problems that you are facing. You most likely see the same parents for years so after a while it’s a bit easier to start a conversation.
As much as I adore the fashion content, I have to admit that getting more personal with you is the thing I enjoy the most! I hope you liked today’s blog post and you found it helpful. Write in the comments below what other tips you have on the topic so we can help it’s other together! Also let me know if you would like more personal posts like this one or you want me to stick to fashion and beauty. Kisses for now loves, see you on the next one!
